


It Will Become Your Truth

by Carnadine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Tadashi & Kei play Pokémon, What-If, Zine Submission, a bit of anxiety, just a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 01:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carnadine/pseuds/Carnadine
Summary: Does a virtual friendship translate into reality?“Well, so… In the hypothetical case this happened, that you meet an online friend for real... what if they see you and..."...they don’t like what they see? What if they feel disappointed?





	It Will Become Your Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This was my submission to the Connect Zine, an HQ!! Fanfic exclusive zine. It was an amazing experience thanks to the equally amazing Mods!
> 
> The theme was "connections", and it's my take on a what-if scenario: what if Tadashi weren't in Karasuno, and so, he wasn't friends with Kei?

It happened one of those nights when the anguish seemed too big to fit in his small body and instead of sleeping, he cried quietly in his bed. His mother took him to her room and with the nightstand lamp shining softly, she showed him her old hand console and asked:

"Tadashi, do you know who Pikachu is?"

And just like that, six years old Tadashi became fascinated with raising virtual pets, friends that didn't laugh at him for being too small and having freckles. His days were split between their small flat in Tokyo and travelling far away through the roads in Kanto, in search of new friends and adventures.

* * *

Tadashi knew them from the Pokémon forums, back in the days when he started middle school and his mother worked night shifts at the hospital. The way to cope with this new loneliness was playing on his DS and chatting with the dry but funny boy - or girl? Person? - from the Tips and Tricks forum.

[Yama!]  
Why do you like Charmander tho?

[KEI]  
It’s a classic.

[Yama!]  
it looks just like a dino

[KEI]  
Exactly.

They start messaging about the game first, and then their talks go from school and some day-to-day happenings. In an unspoken agreement, they don't give too much personal info, even when they discover they are both students and go to the same grade, easing the fear of a creep being behind the screen. They still keep a degree of anonymity that feels safe, like saying personal stuff to a stranger you'll never see again.

[Yama!]  
my mum says i hv to play a sport  
I dont wanna

[Yama!]  
the guys n the soccer team are scaaary  
baseball too

[KEI]  
I play volleyball.

[Yama!]  
oh! are you good???

[KEI]  
I'm ok I guess.

[KEI]  
My brother's the best tho.

* * *

KEI doesn't reply to his messages in a month, and his anxiety is at one of the highest points ever in Tadashi's short life. Is it something he said? Reading and re-reading the PM log doesn't give any clue, nothing seems amiss... so why the silence? Maybe they're sick? Or grounded and cannot use the computer?

Or just don't want to talk to him anymore? Did they finally got bored of him and his ramblings?

[KEI]  
Sorry.  
Family issues.

[Yama!]  
Oh, ok!  
are you ok? I was worried 

[KEI]  
I saw your messages.  
Sorry.

[Yama!]  
it is ok! im happy you are back.  
I went to extra volley practices

[Yama!]  
someday we'll play volley against each other, right?!?

[KEI]  
~~I quit the volleyball team~~  
...

[KEI]  
Someday, yeah.

* * *

The night Tadashi graduates from middle school, a new PM appears in his inbox.

[KEI]  
+81080xxxxxxx

[KEI]  
I got my brother's old phone.

[Yama!]  
Cool!  
My mum gave me a phone too!

The summer before high school passes between texting, sending pictures of the dogs on his neighbourhood (at which KEI always answers with some variation of "That's a good dog"), studying and volleyball practice. 

Both teens are trying to enter a school that's a local volley powerhouse, and in a weird long-distance competitive strike, neither of them wants to fail the entrance exams. Their final success is properly celebrated with many rounds of Monster Hunter until one of them falls asleep, or the other is forced to go to bed.

And so, the first year of high school starts and Tadashi quickly sinks into the routine: wake up early for volleyball practice, study, a quick lunch in which he updates KEI of his latest catches in Pokemon GO and sends more dog photos, more volleyball, and then go home and play a bit of whatever game he and KEI decided to tackle at the moment. 

It’s exhausting, a bit monotonous, but it’s also a grounding, steady routine and Tadashi’s nervousness is at bay lately and everything seems going better than ever.

[Yama!]  
We're going outside the city for a training match!

[KEI]  
We are having a training match too.  
A team from Tokyo is coming here.

[Yama!]  
…  
Wait  
WAIT  
Is your team from Miyagi?

[KEI]  
Yes?  
Do you live in Tokyo?

 _Of course I live in Tokyo_ he almost types, but obviously KEI doesn’t know because he never told him before and now… Surely they aren't going to KEI's city, right? Right?? This could be just an enormous coincidence, because how many high school volleyball teams from Tokyo are having a training match with a team in Miyagi?

(Only yours, his anxious mind replies.)

He could just ignore the question and talk about anything else. Or just lie and say "No", and let this pass. But he has to ask, he has to know if there's the slim possibility they might actually meet. And so he writes and sends his next message quickly, to avoid any regrets.

[Yama!]  
Are tou inkarasuno?

 _Writing..._ says next to KEI's profile picture (always a Charmander), and Tadashi's heart seems to beat louder and louder every second he has to wait for the answer.

[KEI]  
Are you in Nekoma?

Tadashi it's so grateful that he's sitting on the bed because he just drops his phone and flops back, hiding the scream threatening to escape between his hands.

* * *

The days before the trip to Miyagi are a tortuous wait. He isn’t sure if he wants the days to pass quickly so he can finally meet KEI, or it’s better if the date of the training trip never arrives and avoid this situation for as long as he can.  
The texting with KEI has stopped, except for one text he received this morning.

[KEI]  
See you in 2 days?

How can such a simple wording say so much? KEI is going to be in the training match. They are expecting him to be there. But still asks, so they’re giving him an out? What should he answer?

His mind goes over the text over and over, leaving no place for volleyball. In good days, he manages to land at least a third of his floating serves. Today, he considers it lucky if the ball crosses the net.

"Yamaguchi."

Coach Nekomata obviously notices too, and a glance to the side with a cat-like grin is all the indication Tadashi needs to know he's benched for the rest of the practice. 

He sits on the bench with a grunt, fidgeting with the water bottle. His feet start to bounce slightly, the pent-up nervousness translated into movement. Next to him is Kozume, the setter taking a break but still engaged in the practice, his gaze following their teammates as he slumps in the bench, the towel around his neck hiding what his bangs cannot cover of his face.

"Ah, Kozume-senpai... you play video games too, right?"

At first, he thought Kozume didn't hear him, but after a moment their eyes move towards him in a blink, and just as quick they keep analyzing the practice.

“...yes?”

“Then, have you ever met someone you knew online in real life?”

Kozume shook his head, and while he’s still watching the match - their captain is serving now - his shoulders are now angled a bit towards him. 

He’s listening.

The words leave him faster to keep Kozume's attention, “Well, so… In the hypothetical case this happened, that you meet an online friend for real... what if they see you and..."

_...they don’t like what they see? What if they feel disappointed?_

Even if he doesn't say it, Kozume seems to grasp the main issue, “We all show the best of us online, or at least we hide our flaws. I’m sure they’re the same.”

Kozume held his gaze for the first time, his face serious but not unkind like he knows how important is this for Tadashi.

The question leaves him before the anxiety can trap it in his head, “Do you think that kind of friendship is real?”

The setter turns again to watch the practice game. Lips barely lifting, the shadow of a smile as the captain's team scores again."A friendship works both ways. You’ll have to ask them yourself.”

* * *

[Yama!]  
I'll be there.

* * *

"Let's have a good game!"

Both teams meet outside the gym in Karasuno Sougou Sports Park, and at the command of the captains, they bow and salute their opponents. Karasuno is an intimidating team, all clad in black and with a defiant air to them. Even the small redhead at the end of the line has the most intense gaze he's ever seen, awe mixed with a raw instinct that is kinda terrifying. 

Tadashi's gaze goes back to his sneakers, unable to keep looking at the local team formed before them, nerves bubbling under his skin.

"As the guest team, we're going to start the introductions. I am the captain, Kuroo Tetsurou..."

The voices of his teammates are white noise to Tadashi, who tries to not freak out and run all the way back to Tokyo because that would be a dead giveaway to KEI of his identity. Not the way he wants to be remembered, really.

"--guchi. Yamaguchi!!" Shibayama is shaking his shoulder, and with a jump realizes it's his turn to speak.

"A-ah! I'm Yamaguchi Tadashi, middle blocker," he bows before the host team and slowly looks up.

"Ok, I guess it’s our turn. I’m Karasuno’s captain, Sawamura Daichi..."

The rest of the words are lost while he steals brief looks at the Miyagi team. Which one of them is KEI? He must be one of the first years, so at the end of the line? He knows his username, his game position, and after years of talking online -years!- they already know each other, right? Sort of.

Will that virtual friendship translate into a real thing? Will KEI still want to be friends with him after he sees how big of a nervous mess Tadashi is? Or how after all their talks of getting better at volleyball, he isn’t one of the starters on his team?

Karasuno keeps with the introductions, and Tadashi doesn't hear any name that rings a bell, doesn't dare to lift his gaze, body locked with tension in a mid-bow. Until...

"Tsukishima Kei. Middle blocker."

That name! Tadashi quickly lifts his head and finally looks.

He is... tall. Taller than him, light hair and piercing eyes behind black-rimmed glasses. And those eyes are looking directly at him.

The players of both teams are already entering the gym, while he and Tsukishima are still standing outside, observing each other without saying a word. Because what do you say to the person you’ve been speaking to for years, but have never seen in real life? Surely it should be something meaningful, to make a good first face-to-face impression, right?

"You look like your PokeGO character," he blurts instead, face going red immediately as he realizes what he said. Yep, great first impression.

Tsukishima doesn’t seem fazed or weirded out by this. He actually smirks as he answers, “An avatar is supposed to represent who you are in real life. Or you were expecting me to be an orange dinosaur?” 

What's with that face? Is he mad or is he making fun of him? But this banter it's not so much different from what he says in his texts tho, it's KEI's -Tsukishima now- dry humour he finds so funny online. 

"You used your real name," does his voice trembles as much as his hands?

"You too, in a way. Yama-guchi Tadashi. "

And Tsukishima saying his name, his real name, it's what finally breaks the little composure he has, wide eyes now brimming with tears. 

“Hey, Yamaguchi. Are you ok?” 

"Ah-yes, I'm sorry, it's just..." his face is still hidden behind his hands, trying to even his breaths, trying to keep the tears from falling, trying...

He doesn’t realize Tsukishima is dragging him from the entrance until they stop in one of the grass patches at the side of the gym. He can see that Tsukishima has his hands clasped in front of him, waiting for Tadashi to keep speaking now they aren’t near prying ears. 

"There has been a-always a barrier, a filter between us. The messages through the computer, the texts on the phone," he’s sitting on the grass now, his head between his knees in an effort to even out his breaths and keep talking.

"So to see you, hear you now, with nothing between us…"

Tsukishima’s voice is soft, almost intimate. "Too much?” 

“Yes. No! I-I don’t know, this is so confusing, you know? Like, like those characters that talk directly to you, breaking the 4th wall--”

He’s rambling, his mouth trying to make sense of what his brain wants to say and what not. _I’m shit scared that you’ll be disgusted by me and ignore me. You, my long-time virtual friend that is now in front of me._

“I almost said ‘No’.”

His brain halts, foot on the brake all the way, full stop. Okay, what?

“What?”

“When you asked if I was in Karasuno,” Tsukishima is now sitting in front of him, legs crossed and thumbs fidgeting, his voice in monotone. “I almost said ‘No’.”

 _He’s nervous too_ , Tadashi realizes, and this helps to calm down a little, his attention now focused in Tsukishima, who keeps his gaze turned to the grass below as he speaks.

“Why?”

“I wasn’t sure if this,” his hand comes and goes between them, “would translate outside the computer or the phone.”

“T-this?” Tadashi repeats the gesture, pointing at Tsukishima and himself. 

This… Us? This is it, Tadashi. Close your eyes, and believe. 

“... are we friends?”

Sharp eyes meet his, reflecting his wonder and hope. 

“I would like to think so.”

Relief hits him like a huge wave, leaving him a boneless heap of a person spread on the grass. Cool, soft grass that feels so good, and when was the last time he felt this relaxed? He doesn’t even feel threatened by Tsukishima’s sneaky laugh. 

“Who would’ve thought that behind all those dog pictures you send, you were actually a cat.”

“Huh?” Tsukishima is pointing at his legs, the white, bold letters with the name of this school.

“A-and you! You’re named after a firefly, but you’re really a Crow!”

They don’t hear the yell of “TSUKISHIMAAA!” that came from the gym, until the small Karasuno player is looming over them, both friends laying on the grass. “There you are! The captain is calling you, Tsukishima! Is time to--” 

The redhead's face is hilarious when you look at it upside down, wide eyes wanting to flee his face as he yells back, "Tanaka-senpai!!! Tsukishima is laughing!!”

His stomach and jaw hurts, and the grass is itchy, but he made the right choice, and now he has a friend to keep on his own adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/carnadine_).


End file.
